Friday 17 September, 2010

clueless..

have you ever felt like your life is not really moving anywhere ? or that you don't know what you want to do? if your answer is yes then i think you can empathize with me.. if no then i guess u can offer me some sound advice :)

when i entered engineering college the only thing i wanted was to clear all my semesters ( all EIGHT of them !! ) with ease .. the only thing thing on my mind was that if i don't study once i might have to take the exam again( which meant studying twice ..) and with some effort on my part and copious amounts of luck on my side engineering was smooth sailing.. time passed really quick and it was that time of the year called placements! it was quite dreaded back then especially for people who were not too sure of what they want to do next (read MS/ MBA).. i did get placed quite early on.. i had taken yet another step.. college ended, life changed .. and someone said "welcome to the real world ":)

i think this is where i kinda got lost in everything.. the cash at the end of every month was quite comforting... work was alright.. dint find the need to complain too much.. days, months and weeks passed and i realized that i was stuck in a rut.. a monotony that got hard to break.. home-office-home.. work work and more work.. learnt a lot of lessons the hard way..( trust me it sux !!) there was no playing fair and square.. it was all about how well you can sell your self.. i never got used to it .. have quite a few complaints against the system, against people, processes.. but then again i guess its just me.. i am told do your job let others do theirs unless you have taken up a social cause :|
still trying to figure out what is it that i want?is it more money ( that is always welcome :P) ? will that make me happy even if the work place sux? is it the people i have a complaint against? do i want a better job coz this one seems right if a few things change here and there? do i want to study? if yes then what, when, how, where ?? the questions seems quite endless... then it gets me wondering if i am complaining about things that i dont have the power to change? or has work got the better of me? ( now u know why i am so clueless :P) the only thing i keep hearing is "you think too much ?" and then m again wondering is thinking too much a bad thing :D (and m stuck in an endless loop of questions) i am not sure if i am making too much sense right now :D
sometimes u can see a glowing question mark on my face :P

i think i ll figure out what i want eventually.. that's all for now i guess. i am going to give my brains some rest :P

Cheers !





1 comment:

Trupti said...

Going down together.... :-|
I hope "The soon we'll be clear" is soon enough...
Best Luck to all of us!!